Julie's little list 'o greed.
We all know what Chrismas is all about! Presents! (Presents and guilt,
if you're making it a family affair.) This list might be useful to you if you:
- are related to me by some cruel twist of fate
- secretly admire me, and want to make me notice you by giving me
expensive things. (Ha, I wish.)
- want more disk quota on Alcor (In that case, you'd be better off
bribing
Steven Winikoff, but I'll put in a good word for you if you
insist.)
- have given birth to me, and are now taking to heart the fact that, if I get another hair barrette, or for that matter, anything bearing the effigy of a teddy bear, for chrismas ever again, I will announce to all our relatives
that I'm a butch-dyke vegetarian Voodoun priestess living in sin
with my labially-pierced lifestyle submissive girlfriend Natasha in a downtown
Montreal Hare Krishna Temple, heading our own Columbian drug cartel while maintaining a profitable side-trade in pornographic materials featuring farm animals, exotic kitchen utensils, sendmail.cf and select members of the Spice Girls. You have wisely decided to heed my warning, and take a look at what I really want for Chrismas.
- are just a kind soul who enjoys being gratuitously generous to people
you don't know.
- are my friend, and just want to give me a present, in which case
a tangerine or a photocopy of an ascii-to-hexadecimal chart will probably fill
me with delight (hey, it's been known to work before. ;-)
So without any further ado:
- The Art of Computer Programming, 3 volume special edition
- Unix Power Tools, O'Reilly
- the O'Reilly book on 'Make'
- a new futon
- Jamie Zawinski
- a new hard drive
- eternal love
- blissful nights of complete erotic satisfaction
- purple nail polish
- a laptop
- another computer
- for my missing cat to return (Hey, this has actually happened. :-)
- gifts certificates for Nebula, Chapters or Melange Magique
- vanilla scented body lotion from the Body Shop
- home cooked food
- chocolate
- a hug
- posters to put on my walls
- in-depth understanding of the Linux kernel
- buttons with cynical sayings
- obscene amounts of money
- a trip to the country to walk around and watch the stars on a clear crisp night
- a massage
- an invitation for tea on a cold day
- a big and friendly house in the country
- a horse
- horseback riding
- a trip to Ottawa
- chocolate coins
- a subscription to Linux Journal
- a subscription to Perl Journal
- surprise me